At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
