lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
