I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
