We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
