Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
