He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize