Whod you bang
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
