Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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