No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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