I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
