every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Someone signed my nipple.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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