...so i touched it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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