so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
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You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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