Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
