your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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