I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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