in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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