why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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