she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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