i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I lost the right to judge tonight
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
