woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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