Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
