are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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