How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
