No stitches, just platelets and will power
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
