Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
