I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
