Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
