She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
