I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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