I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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