the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
