I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
