I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
