I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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