I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
