whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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