i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The power of my boobs compel you
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
