Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
