Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
