He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
