there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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