Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
