So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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