So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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