You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
