the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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