Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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