And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
