Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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