I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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