if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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