You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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