I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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