Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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