the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
