So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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