You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
