She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
